High fives
I want to form the “High Five Review Committee”.
OBJECTIVE: To ensure high fives are held up to a standard of quality. To retain the integrity of a universal gesture of happiness.
WHY?: Too many people high five over the smallest things. ”We’re wearing the same color! *HIGH FIVE*” ”We both said the same word at the same time! *HIGH FIVE*” ”My hands are itchy! *HIGH FIVE*” This has gone unchecked for far too long.
By allowing these high fives to occur without punishment, we are lowering the standards of the high five tradition. It’s a slippery slope; first, we allow high fives for minor details. Next, people will high five JUST FOR FUN. What comes after? How will we ever know what’s high five worthy, and what’s not anymore? Humanity, we must act!
PLAN: First, we will assert ourselves in a position of power. You know, like a government office or something. I dunno, I’m not an expert of that sort of thing. But once we have attained the position of power that we require, we will review high fives. If they’re worthy, they will stand. If not, then they go straight to jail. No messing around!
By joining this committee, we will ensure that a great american tradition will have longer lasting ability, and that people will not be forced to give high fives simply due to social pressure. (Ever reject a high five? People get angry.) The high five has been abused too long. Let’s form a committee to abuse those who abuse high fives.
</random creativity blog of the day>
(don’t take me seriously. i had way too much coffee.)
